San Francisco comes up trumps again

There's something special about San Francisco. Not just the fact it's a lovely city with a winter climate to die for. It's a melting pot of ideas. Full to the brim with smart people who want to make the world a better place.

Sounds a bit worthy that, so I'll qualify it by adding that most of the ones who are successfully making the world a little better are doing so and earning big bucks too.

In four working days my colleague Nick and I have had some brilliant conversations with people who frankly were it not for us working for Walmart wouldn't have spared the time.

But once in their company they couldn't have been more accommodating.

We've had our brains stretched by clever engineers, our ideas entertained by seasoned entrepreneurs, and our vision endorsed by people who have been there, done that, and invented the T-shirt never mind bought it.

It's a huge privilege to get the chance to travel here for work.

But every trip pays back in spades.

Not only does it help calibrate your thinking it also enables you to reflect, connect, and make leaps forward.

I'm really excited by the year ahead. If only half of the things we've discussed this week materialise it's going to be an awesome* year.

*Apologies for using the A word but I've been in California a week now you know :)

Practice what you preach

I spend a lot of time coaching people.

Five Post-It notes, a pen and an hour somewhere quiet has helped unlock something inside dozens of colleagues. 

Their frustrations with work but ultimately life brought out into the open. And sometimes for the first time a realisation that they are more in control than they realised.

Three small steps taken in seven days return that sense of wellbeing. Back in charge they feel a bit better.

And feeling better ultimately means life and work are a little happier.

Every time I go through this process I have a mini crisis of confidence that it won't work with this particular colleague.

But it always does.

And almost without exception the five most important ingredients of their ideal job are not the first five Post-It notes placed on the table.

In fact the sixth, as there is always a sixth, is not only normally the most important motivational driver, but it is also the one with the lowest score out of ten.

Isn't that interesting that in the thirty or so people I've coached in the last three years, without exception the most important thing to them in life wasn't something they were aware of.

So why do I share this with you?

Today I feel low.

I'm not sure why. It could be I'm simply tired. Or hungover. Or both.

Or more likely one or more of my five Post-It notes is below par.

In fact maybe I'm not clear any more what my five really are.

So here goes. Off the top of my head:

1. Work life balance
2. Receiving praise and recognition from people I respect
3. Being perceived to be an expert
4. Being in a role where my creativity is celebrated not seen as disruptive
5. Inspiring others

Now if I were coaching me (this could get a bit weird) I would ask what the difference was between 2, 3 and 4. Aren't they one of the same?

For 2, this is about seeking out feedback knowing that I need it to feel a sense of well-being. When it is in short supply I feel anxious. I experience self doubt. I get that imposter syndrome thing.

Number 3 is the chip on my shoulder. The son of a world renowned scientist, I too want to be respected by peers in my industry for my craft. Albeit I'm not daft enough to think I'll ever get an OBE like my dad.

Number 4? Creativity is part of my wiring. I love the chance to problem solve. And join dots together. I used to think social media was my only outlet. But actually it turns out that was just a convenient coincidence for a year or two.

If I were to score them all out of ten what would they get based on how I feel today and the job I do?

Here goes:

1. Work life balance (8/10)
2. Receiving praise and recognition from people I respect (7/10)
3. Being perceived to be an expert (5/10)
4. Being in a role where my creativity is celebrated not seen as disruptive (6/10)
5. Inspiring others (7/10)

So it turns out the expert one is where I'm not content. Which ironically is a result of being recognised this week as the 13th most influential social media person in the UK. Hilarious I know.

My reaction to the accolade in itself is interesting. I thought it would make me feel good. And it doesn't.

Anyway there is always a sixth one. What is it? Numbers 2 & 3 are one of the same. I need another different one.

Winning. It's winning.

I enjoy winning. I'm competitive. It's my dirty secret. Like some people who want to earn more money but don't like to admit it. I like to win.

What score out of ten would I give it? 3/10.

So what three things can I do in the next seven days to get that from 3/10 to 4/10?

How confident am I and how committed am I to do them?

Hmm. Here goes...

1. To win in anything you need world class people around you. If you want to get better play with the best. I'm going to book my next trip to San Francisco.

What else?

2. I'm going to start reading a book on winning. I'll Google some in a minute.

What else?

This is harder than I thought. One step to get it from a three to a four.

3. I'm going to push the boat out on something I'm working on. Winners take chances and go with their gut?

Boom.

How confident am I that I can do all three in the next seven days? 100%. How committed am I? 100%.

So my new five are: 

1. Winning
2. Work life balance
3. Receiving praise and recognition from people I respect / being perceived to be an expert
4. Being in a role where my creativity is celebrated not seen as disruptive
5. Inspiring others

So the one I wasn't aware of an hour ago is possibly the most important motivational factor.

How do I feel now? Better. More in control. And not as low as an hour ago.

Maybe it's just the hangover wearing off. But I don't think so.

This is mad. I started this blog feeling depressed. And now I don't.

Hopefully as you read it this makes sense. If not don't worry. I wrote this for me. And it worked a treat.

My self limitation is in desperate need of some complimentary medicine

Later today I'm going to meet my new executive coach.

I've never had an executive coach before.
I've had the odd business mentor here and there. And a boss or two who I really looked up to. But this is different.

Throughout my career, if not my life, I've been a self-limiter.

By that I mean I've held myself back. At certain points I had a chip on my shoulder. Enviously looking at others and what they had achieved. And I let that get in the way of my ambition.

I wanted success to come quickly and at times thought I knew it all, especially in my early career when some colleagues probably thought I was a bit cocky.

At school I was even called arrogant, albeit only by one teacher who coached our football team and mistook my lack of skill when getting caught in possession as arrogance, when in reality I just wasn't that good.

Or was I? With the right support, challenge and practice could I have been a decent player?

See there I go again. Forever questioning how good I really am?

I've said before on here I'm the kind of player who needs the gaffer's arm around his shoulder every now and then.

But having been given a new job back in April, that I had no idea how to do, I've come out the other side and for the first time in a long time am beginning to feel like I'm half decent.

As a result I'm at another cross roads.
But this time rather than being faced with only going left or right, I feel like I could be lifted up and dropped off more or less anywhere now and somehow I'd find my way.

I read the other day that 'good leaders are good path makers. Sometimes the journey is not clear' (via @LeandroEHerrero).

I like that thought. Sometimes you need a map. Sometimes you need to follow the well trodden path. And other times you need to create your own way for others to follow.

Hence the time feels right for some guidance. Someone to expand my horizons. And to help me realise my full potential.

The job I'm doing right now has taught me a new level of resilience.

But it's also demonstrated to me that I'm more capable than I have ever given myself credit for.

That's a very liberating experience to go through. I've lost my fear of failure.

So back to meeting my coach...

Last week we had a pre meet call with him and my boss.

Following a few introductions my coach asked my boss to outline three things:

1. What he liked about me.
2. What would make me even better.
3. And what people say about me when I leave the room.

It was an illuminating experience, thankfully, as it could've been fairly humiliating.

What follows btw feels a little self congratulatory but to overcome my self limiting tendencies I've resolved myself to share (look away now Mr Hague or whatever his name was).

My boss said things like:

"Dom is incredibly honest, he's very authentic with high integrity. He's a very inspiring leader."

He went on to say how I get to know my team, I'm very creative and very adept.

So far so good.

What could Dom do more of asked my coach?

My boss described how although I have magnificent ideas (his words not mine). The opportunity for me was to convert these into impactful business plans.

I need to hold myself and my team more accountable. Blending ideas with real commerciality. Taking myself into tough leadership forums. Elevating what I do up to senior stakeholders in the business.

It was then that my new coach singled in on something simple but extremely revealing.

He described how all senior leaders are effectively in two teams. The one they manage, and the one they share with their peers.

Team one, the most important one, is your peers, not the one you manage.

As I sat there and thought about it I realised I spend 95% of my time and effort on team two.

Rightly or wrongly I always felt they were in more need of my time and full attention.

Then came the killer third question about my own personal brand. My reputation.  What others say about me when I leave the room.

My boss listed off the things I often hear said of me.

Positives: Nice guy. Full of ideas. Great fun. Different perspective. Etc.

Negatives: Where's Dom today? Would be good to have visibility of his plans. It would be great if Dom could offer a view on this.

There is a sense that if you need a whacky idea I'm the guy to go to. If you can find me that is.

Ironically I'm on the early train to London penning this blog so no doubt someone is wandering the corridors of Asda HQ looking for me right now to solve something for them.

So what do I want out if this new executive coach relationship?

I want someone to challenge my thinking.

I want someone to recognise in me the skills and characteristics of a great leader, albeit one at the early part of his development.

And I want to overcome my self limiting tendencies once and for all.

Not much then. Wish me luck.

My present to you. Enjoy living in the now.

Do you ever get that anxious feeling that you're missing out on something?

Or do you spend so long looking forward to something happening that when it arrives it is somewhat of an anti climax?

When I was a teenager I remember feeling like I was missing out. Something was happening and either I wasn't invited or worst of all I was, but was paralysed by indecision. Should I leave where I was and go there instead. Or should I stay where I am in case I miss out?

On Friday my eight year old was in such a predicament. She wanted to be in two places at once. Already out trick or treating with her sister and one of her best friends she had also been invited to a house party.

As we left her sister and friend and walked to the party she stopped and said she didn't know what to do.

Cue my attempt to explain enjoying life in the moment. Being truly present in the now. Not worrying too much about what has gone before or what may come next. Pausing in the moment and being content with your lot. Right now.

It didn't work. We crossed the road towards the party. Ironically we either went to the wrong house or the party had all gone out trick or treating. Either way her gamble of the grass will be greener backfired.

By now her sister had separated from her friend. And we trudged off home.

On Saturday evening this tweet crossed my timeline. Attributed to the Dalai Lama it captures the sentiment rather more eloquently than I.

When asked what surprised him about humanity he apparently said:

"Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he doesn't enjoy the present; the result being he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die; and then he dies having never really lived."

Well said that Dalai.

Trust me to make an arse out of myself during my moment of glory

Last week I was lucky enough to appear on The Bottom Line with Evan Davis from Dragon's Den fame. The new Jeremy Paxman no less.

It's always interesting when you meet someone in real life who you feel like you know already through regular contact, albeit one way, via the television or radio.

In most instances they are not quite the same as they appear on the box. But I'm pleased to report Evan, Mr Davis to you, is an absolute gentleman.

He put all three of his guests at ease. Was humble about his new gig at Newsnight. And was the consummate professional throughout. Even thanking me for my tweets earlier that day.

I have to say appearing on Radio 4 for a full half hour on Thursday evening was the highlight of my career.

In part because I got to rub shoulders with Edwina Dunn of Tesco Clubcard and Dunnhumby fame. The inventor of Big Data thirty years before it was even called Big Data. And I got to compare notes with Robin Grant Global MD and co-founder of an award winning, international agency called We Are Social.

But it was also because for the first time ever my mum and dad were genuinely interested in tuning in to hear me do my thing. They've heard me be interviewed before but only in my previous capacity as a spokesperson for the company I represent.

On this occasion the subject matter was what I do, not who I work for or what they do. And the test was whether or not I could hold my own in such eminent company.

The format of The Bottom Line is very informal which suited me just fine. A round table discussion deftly handled by Evan Davis to illicit the best from his guests.

Recorded in one take and edited down from 45 minutes to the 30 that are broadcast, it flew by in a flash.

I could've carried on for hours. And it would appear Evan was genuinely interested in the conversation. Either that or years of feigning interest make him a great liar.

The only blot on an otherwise perfect afternoon was me inadvertently swearing. I said arse on Radio 4. Can you believe it? And not only that but they chose to leave it in.

Trust me to say arse on The Bottom Line. Oh the irony.

The other surprise was how many people were listening to Radio 4 who happen to know me. Texts were flying in asking if that really was me on the radio. 

A mate from school sent me the following DM which kind of summed it up:

'Came across very well - sounded like you actually knew what you were talking about.'

My degree in bullshit is finally paying off it would seem.

Anyway, if you get a chance take a listen. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

If a snail can climb a tree maybe you can do more than you think

At risk of sounding like one of those cliché quotes that do the rounds on Facebook, if a snail can climb a tree maybe you can do more than you think too. 

I spotted one this morning who had climbed a tree and made its way along a tiny twig and was balancing precariously with its house dangling below.

It got me thinking.

Three or four months ago I was given a new job.

Up until that point I'd always worked in PR - something I knew a fair bit about having studied it at Uni and then spent 16 years practicing.

In the preceeding twelve months leading up to this major career change I'd had it real good. 

As head of social media at Asda I'd somehow managed to shrug off all the hard bits of working in PR like dealing with journalists and managing issues and been left with the fun bit.

I had a team of two including me. And the one person I had to manage was a breeze.

Then following a significant reorganisation I found myself with a job title I didn't even understand the meaning of: senior director revenue management and marketing process.

I felt completely out of my comfort zone.

My team of two was disbanded and I inherited a whole new team of 18.

Not only that but the business plan I also now owned was challenging to say the least. 

We were seen as the problem child. Morale was low. Expectations high. And the pressure palpable.

After the initial shock and bewilderment, I had to get my head around what the hell I was going to do.

I knew very little about the department I was now in charge of. Nor did I really know any of the people in my new team.

So even before I started the doubt was setting in.

In my head I was questioning why the powers that be had opted to place the least commercial person in the whole of marketing (their words not mine in my last annual review) in charge of the only part of marketing that actually makes any money.

I openly joked I can barely operate a calculator, yet here I was accountable for making millions of pounds profit.

It's been an interesting journey to say the least. I've seriously considered giving in at various points. But at all the right moments I've been given a little encouragement or word of wisdom. Just enough to build up my resilience.

And a couple of weeks ago I felt like having reached the depths of the biggest trough in my career I was clawing my way out. 

There was light at the end of the tunnel. The wind felt like it was blowing us back on course.

The confidence was returning. The restless nights waning. The bounce back in my step.

If nothing else the last fifteen weeks have made me realise that being forced out of my comfort zone is essential every now and then. 

It's something you know deep down inside but nonetheless sometimes it takes an unexpected event to make it happen.

As a result I now know I'm more capable of leading a team of people than I gave myself credit for.

Not knowing what they do isn't a disadvantage after all. 

In fact not being an expert means I have to rely on them. At the same time I can bring a new perspective by asking all the silly questions, and can apply the same approach that has served me well until this point:

Don't try and make friends in a crisis. 

Collaboration is key. 

Be humble. 

Ask for help. 

Get the bad news out of the way early. 

Hang in there. If it feels crap know that it will pass. 

Trust your gut instincts and have more faith in your judgement. 

But also don't make hasty decisions. 

So there you go. My new job has brought out the inner snail in me. Who'd have thought it. 

Going to the footie with your dad

My dad started taking me to the football in 1986. I was eleven. As luck would have it it coincided with Reading FC's record beating run of thirteen straight wins from the start of the season. Ending in the fourteenth match with a 2-2 draw with Wolves.

I was distraught.

If only I knew then the years of toil to come supporting my local team.

Yesterday I treated my dad to a belated birthday present. We went to the last home match of the season. A game against already promoted Burnley.

A must win game to ensure our progression into the play offs. Alternatively we had to get a better result than Brighton who were playing away to Nottingham Forest.

There is a certain inevitability to games involving Reading.

I'd predicted back in October that we'd need to beat Burnley 3-0 to scrape into the play offs on goal difference.

Whilst technically not quite right I was near enough.

So me my dad and my mate Dave rocked up to the ground just after 10 am.

Our posh seats meant we were treated to a three course brunch. Red or white Sir?

Dear god it is only ten in the morning.

Then Reading legend Jimmy Quinn walked in. Our hero. Scorer of 42 goals in one season. The best headerer of a ball ever to wear the hoops according to Burch senior.

Former player manager in our first fateful play off final against Bolton in 94/95. A game to this day I haven't watched since. Two nil up and a missed penalty and another missed open goal. And leading 2-1 with seven minutes to go. And. Well you can guess what happened.

So back to Burnley.

After a couple of looseners we took our padded leather seats. Bang on the halfway line. Best seats in the house.

And who should be in the row behind but a school mate I've not seen for twenty years. A good omen. Or someone else to blame should it all go wrong.

Reading take an early lead through a deflected own goal. Brighton are also losing. If it stays this way we're in the play offs.

Burnley strike back and then take the lead. We scramble away a third and go in at half time down 2-1.

Brighton still losing. We're still in the play offs.

Another nerve settler at half time then we retake our seats.

Brighton have equalised. Shit. They go ahead of us.

Then a wonder goal from absolutely nothing. Hugs all round. Back in the sixth spot.

This is it. We're only gonna go and do it.

With added minutes being played out and a corner to Reading the home manager waves everyone up including our goal keeper.

What's he doing? Something has happened. Brighton must have scored. Noone can confirm it. Our game ends in a draw.

Shit, shit, shit. What's going on.

A cheer goes up. Have Forest equalised.

A pitch invasion ensues. Thousands flood onto the pitch. Another cheer from behind the goal.

I don't believe it. I won't. Not until I've seen it.

There's no bloody phone reception. Everyone clogging up the airwaves trying to get the results on the phone.

I turn and shout up to the camera man on the gantry above. What's the Brighton result?

2-1.

Bugger.

The news slowly seeps out around the ground.

We finish seventh.

A 92nd minute winner at Forest. Who would've predicted that?

Me.

What a day. I absolutely loved it. Every minute.

Going to the footie with your dad is ace. Thanks Robbie.